Wii is dead, long live 'Vii'

by Justin McElroy { Oct 2nd 2007 at 1:55PM }

Hey, what's with the tears? What, are you still bummed that Reginald says you still may not be able to find a Wii in stores this holiday season? Don't even worry about that, kid. We got something a whole lot better than any Wii. What we got here is the "Vii." See, it's like the Wii. But it's with a "V".

We hear what you're saying. We know you're a little gun shy after you bought our last products, the POPStation Portable and the Gamestation, but we've changed! ... No, we haven't. But it's easy to find in stores, that got to be worth something, right?

Tags: nintendo, vii, wii

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

mr nimblewick (SegaDF - Jogurt Ring) @ Oct 2nd 2007 1:59PM

If it really does connect to my TV with magical golden starlight, I'm sold.

Jerk Face @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:00PM

LOL

Jerk Face @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:05PM

That guy has such a shit eating look on his face in that photo.

And what's with the inflatable jet ski?

Bigfoot @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:40PM

One of the games that is part of Vii Sports.

LAZoftheTamarinds @ Oct 2nd 2007 6:45PM

LOL! At your comment. :)

samfish (MSDF- Nurse Outfit!) @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:08PM

OMG, have you SEEN the latest screenshots of Ultra Bruno Galaxy? They look Friggin' AWESOME! We're talking GotY year stuff here!

Zertoss @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:08PM

Do the stars on the box also spell out U R MR GAY?

samfish (MSDF- Nurse Outfit!) @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:13PM

no, U R MS LESBO

Don't ask me how.

Word of the street(IDF-Digital Ruler). @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:44PM

wouldn't it be "I M MS Lesbo" or "U R DR HOMO"?

BPM (FDF - Hypno-Toad) @ Oct 2nd 2007 3:02PM

How did you know I was Ms. Lesbo?!

Uh... I mean...

[hypnotizes you to forget all of this]

ThornedVenom @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:09PM

I wouldn't dare imagine what the controls are like.

YourSlay3r @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:11PM

I preferd Wii60 over Vii60 but hey its all good with me. As long as I get the free asian girl and I will sell the free asian guy on ebay.

ForcedSterilizationsForAll @ Oct 2nd 2007 3:17PM

This is why you will never get a girlfriend.

Sieged Eagle @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:14PM

Wow, that console looks really innovative and looks like it's going to outsell the majority of the next-gen consoles! I am so going to want this for Christmas!

T3H WICKERMAN (FDF) @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:18PM

Its just two ZAME GUBEs scotch taped together.

WiNG @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:42PM

haha so funny yet slyly subtle

BPM (FDF - Hypno-Toad) @ Oct 2nd 2007 3:03PM

You've made the FDF proud. [sniff]

Yubastard @ Oct 14th 2007 4:06AM

dude, your avatar is tha' shitzniza ;)

KiraXD @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:21PM

does it have motion controls? (im serious) and i cant tell if those games suck.. or if theyre actually decent?

Poisoned Al @ Oct 2nd 2007 8:17PM

I very much doubt that they are even wireless!

megaStryke @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:22PM

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you, and you may call me...

Vii.

T3H WICKERMAN (FDF) @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:29PM

This is your best post ever.( are you alan moore?)

blooh (CDF - Ass Ring) @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:30PM

megaStryke @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:32PM

Alan Moore? No. I'm just a guy who googled "V for Vendetta" quotes.

rdj75 @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:37PM

That was freaking awesome.

hydralisk456 @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:52PM

EFG supports this post!

BPM (FDF - Hypno-Toad) @ Oct 2nd 2007 3:04PM

You deserve five hearts for that one.

WHO DO I HAVE TO HYPNOTIZE TO INCREASE THE LIFE METERS?!

michas_pi @ Oct 3rd 2007 12:51AM

@BPM: Quit being a pussy and beat the first dungeon boss in LoZ: Joystiq of Time :-)

wiiare @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:29PM

"It's just two ZAME GUBES scotch taped together" Hilarious dude!

rdj75 @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:34PM

This is just so sad, I can remember back in the day when parents couldn't afford the name brand stuff so they got you the off brand that they swore did the same thing and made you look just as cool. Imagine some poor unfortunate kid getting this POS for christmas. I can see it now, he opens the box and rejoices like crazy only to look closer to find its some knock-off.

Nintendo Wii?
249.99
Chintendo Vii?
(fraction of the cost of an actual Wii)

The WTF expression on the kids face on christmas morning?

Priceless

baby sea tuna @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:47PM

Oh man, I'm having Go-Bots flashbacks as we speak!

James @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:35PM

... Wii isn't dead.

mr nimblewick (SegaDF - Jogurt Ring) @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:43PM

When was the last time you fed it? Dammit, Jimmy, I'm not going to buy you another one if you're just going to neglect it!

WiNG @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:45PM

It is now that this beast has landed.

I can't wait to play Drama Center, Legend of Zordon, Clayman Crazy Crabbids, or Metro Prom: Concussion.

mr nimblewick (SegaDF - Jogurt Ring) @ Oct 2nd 2007 3:10PM

+1 for Drama Center and Metro Prom.

Darayz @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:45PM

Popstation Portable and Gamestation and now the Vii. Hey, 3rd time's a charm right? Or is it 3 strikes and you're out?

Matt B @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:54PM

If its made in China, it will be in a Wal-mart near you soon.

xXFenixKnight13Xx @ Oct 2nd 2007 2:56PM

Hahaha!! My 3yr old got that jet ski with a N64 looking control pad last Christmas from my father in law hahahahahaha, theyre sure trying to be slick with this one! BTW he loved that darn thing. Vii FTW?? LOL!!!!

holyice7 @ Oct 2nd 2007 3:06PM

I think I'll get the Vii. Now to choose a television to play it on...

Magnetbox or Somy?

xXFenixKnight13Xx @ Oct 2nd 2007 3:17PM

BestBuy has the NEW SUMSANG LOL! on SALE!!! $499 60 HDTV

bm @ Oct 2nd 2007 3:14PM

I can't wait to see the video "review" of this in the style of the popstation and gamestation ones.

mr nimblewick (SegaDF - Jogurt Ring) @ Oct 2nd 2007 3:17PM

Hey, even a derivative rip-off product like this can have some good games for it.

Heck the Sega CD had Sonic CD, Shining Force CD, and the Criss Cross Make a Video game.

And the 32X had... well, bad example...

WiNG @ Oct 2nd 2007 3:21PM

What is your point? SegaCD was not a copycat scam, it was a peripheral system made by its 1st party.

mr nimblewick (SegaDF - Jogurt Ring) @ Oct 2nd 2007 3:32PM

The point is that even crappy systems can have good games.

I think there was even a good game for ngage.

Sometimes I even enjoyed Tiger electronics handhelds as a kid. Those were crap.

So yeah, this is a shameless attempt to copy the Wii, but there could be some fun to it. It's all about the games, right?