We've grown quite content to simply sit on our fat surpluses and crank out Japanese hardware sales charts to the enraptured masses week after week -- however, the all-important figures you see at the bottom of every entry seem to always get lost in a maelstrom of eloquent prose. We thought long and hard about how to improve the format of these posts without changing the time-tested formula that has served us so well over the years -- surprisingly, we decided to take a cue from the MMO market. Yes, after months of silent development, we're proud to announce the first ever expansion to this distinguished feature: Japanese Hardware Sales:Rise of the Lavender Fluke.
This exciting addition is currently in ultra-secret closed epsilon testing, and the feedback we've been receiving has been entirely positive. Well, except for all the complaints, bug reports, vulgar e-mails, death threats, and one actual attempt on our lives. Aside from that, we're pretty optimistic that we can hit the Q1 2009 release date we set for ourselves -- though our development team mistook Q1 2009 to mean "one quinquennium from 2009", so it should actually be arriving sometime in 2014. Trust us, it's worth it.
We've got the full list of updates and changes featured in JHS:RotLF posted after the jump. Make sure you check them out -- but not before paying your dues to the facts and figures posted below. We would hate for you to miss any of the excitement.
The one-sentence newsbrief reads, "Valve's survival horror game Left 4 Dead is coming to PS3, but EA will be taking on development duties in-house." That's it -- no attribution for the report or timetable for the title's release. We expect that EA will soon deliver more info about the project -- until then, we wait with bated breath, hoping that we don't have another Orange Box fiasco on our hands.
Following the closure of Flagship Studios, the fate of their two intellectual properties, Mythos and Hellgate: London, seemed cloudy at best. Immediately after Flagship let go of nearly all of their staff, HanbitSoft (a large investor in Flagship) claimed to have possession of the two titles. Shortly thereafter, Flagship exec Bill Roper announced that his company still clung to life, as well as to all their technology and IPs, much to HanbitSoft's chagrin. Two weeks ago, Namco-Bandai reportedly picked up Hellgate, though the game's page on Namco's site mysteriously vanished a week later.
However, a recent help wanted ad posted by T3 Entertainment, the Korean developers of casual music game Audition Online (and major stockholders for HanbitSoft), might put an end to the confusion. The ad calls for developers for a new San Francisco-based studio who wish to "passionately continue development of Hellgate: London and Mythos, along with other new games." As much as we'd love to believe that Mythos will reach North America, we're not quite sure if this dispute has truly been settled, or if another developer has simply entered the IP melee.
If yesterday's video extravaganza for THQ's upcoming shoot-'em-up Red Faction: Guerilla tickled your ludological fancy, then a tip we recently received might interest you. Apparently, the Guerilla multiplayer beta from which yesterday's footage was gleaned is now open for Xbox Live Gold subscribers through FilePlanet -- though you have to be either a FilePlanet subscriber or an IGN Insider in order to gain the access code necessary to conjure the beta onto your 360 through Live Marketplace.
There is a beta application to fill out, though we don't think they would turn their precious subscribers away. It's of little importance to us, however, as we make it a point not to subscribe to things that aren't the Oprah magazine.
Do you find it difficult to slip the fact that you conquered a certain titular Lord of Terror into your daily conversations? Feel insecure when bragging about your latest successful Zerg Rush to your colleagues? Blizzard's got your back -- in a recent interview with MTV Multiplayer, World of Warcraft lead designer Jeff Kaplan revealed that there will be achievements in Blizzard's next two highly anticipated projects, Diablo IIIand Starcraft II.
These achievements will join the recently revealed achievements for WoW (which will make their debut with the Wrath of the Lich King expansion) -- however, Kaplan revealed that eventually, achievements from the three games will be linked to your Blizzard account, forming a "Blizzard Level". Kaplan likened the system to the Xbox Live gamerscore -- only without all the embarrassment one must suffer after earning 780 points from Pimp My Ride.
It appears that Activision is wasting no time with their bestselling FPS franchise Call of Duty -- though we're still a couple of months from receiving the Sutherland-infusedCall of Duty: World at War, Activision Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick recently announced that his company is planning on releasing yet another Call of Duty title sometime in 2009. In equally unsurprising news, gas is still expensive, flan is still delicious, and the sun is planning on rising tomorrow morning.
We love jet packs. Let's get that out of the way right now. We can't get enough of the things, whether they be on 1930s superheroes, cargo pilots, or in this case, hilariously named online multiplayer combatants. GameTrailers recently hit the motherlode of gameplay videos from Red Faction: Guerilla -- in addition to the jetpackery you see above, there's four more videos posted after the break. We like what we see -- the action looks frantic, the destructible environments look fun, and the jet packs are... well, jet packs. Need we say more?
Square Enix revealed both film (titled Advent Children Complete) and demo at their DKΣ3713 event, with a Japanese release date of March 2009. The demo will also include video previews of Final Fantasy Agito XIIIand Versus XIII (which they took care to mention is still a PS3 exclusive). Squeenix also announced a new PS3 SKU that will include the Blu-ray directors cut. What they didn't announce, however, was the American release date of the film -- and whether the demo and bundle will even make it to American shores.
It's been eight long years since we've last seen our favorite Mitochondria-battling cop, Aya Brea, in Square's survival horror/RPG hybrid series Parasite Eve. Well, that's not exactly true, we did catch a glimpse of her contemplating eating a bullet sandwich following the announcement that the long awaited next installment in the series would be released exclusively on mobile phones. Luckily, it seems Aya and RPG fans alike have dodged said bullet -- during their DKΣ3713 Private Party event, Square Enix announced that this new chapter in the series will now be making its way to the PSP. It's unclear whether a mobile version of the title is still in development.
Not much is known about the game, titled The 3rd Birthday. A trailer at Squeenix's exclusive shindig didn't have any gameplay or details about the game, though it did show Aya in a wedding dress, aiming a pistol at a shadowy figure standing in the doorway of what we assume is her wedding chapel. A gunfight on your wedding day? Isn't it ironic... don't you think?
We hope you're in the mood for some illustrated dismemberment -- the fourth installment of EA's Dead Space animated comic dropped last night, bringing the origin story of the title's unsettling setting (the mining station USG Ishimura) a bit closer to completion. This chapter's all about life lessons, really -- for instance, when your space station is being besieged by an aggressive alien organism, perhaps the morgue isn't the best place to hang out. Also, while serving as an intergalactic janitor on said station, perhaps peering down darkened, infested air ducts isn't the best course of action.
Life lessons, swearing (NSFW, BTW), and halved torsos, all posted after the break.
The first two blockbusters sliding down the Pure Dreams chute are both based off of popular licenses in Japan -- Snoopy DS: Let's Go Meet Snoopy and His Friends! lets the player create their own member of the Peanuts gallery and play minigames with their hydrocephalitic neighbors, and Pingu's Wonderful Carnival is also a minigame collection, based off of the popular Swiss stop-motion series. We absolutely cannot wait to see Peppermint Patty's limit break.
Video above provides suggested musical accompaniment for the following post.
A wild Japanese Hardware Sales Chart attacks!
Go, Fanboy! Fanboy usesDefenseForce! Fanboy's DEF sharply increased! Sales Chart uses Red Arrows! It's not very effective... Fanboy uses Faulty Logic! Sales Chart counters with Embarrassing Correction! Fanboy self-destructs!
I choose you, Developer! Developer uses Hype Beam! It's very effective! Sales Chart uses Green Arrows! Sales Chart regains health! Developer is counting down... Sales Chart uses Publisher! Publisher interrupts the countdown! Developer uses Big Reveal! But it fails... Sales Chart uses Negative Fan Reaction! Developer fainted!
The enemy is weak, go get 'em, Blogger! Blogger uses Sarcatsic Post! Blogger made a typo! Sales Chart uses Angry Editor! It's super effective! Blogger uses an Ultra Ball! Blogger caught a Japanese Hardware Sales Chart!
Send the kids to bed, dear readers. It's grown folks time. The Dead Space "Lullaby" trailer we've placed cautiously after the jump is full of ominous environments, severed limbs, and creepy children's songs -- the horror game trailer trifecta. In fact, Ars Technica reports that shortly after viewing the trailer at E3, they received an email from Electronic Arts telling them that the ESRB refused to approve the trailer for American audiences. We're not experts on the subject, but it might have something to do with all the disappendaged torsos. It was cleared for European regions, however, and of course, for the great nation of Internetania. Check it after the break, if you think you can handle it (you probably can).
There are three things in this world for which we possess an unbridled, white-hot love: The warriors of feudal Japan, outrageously large disco hairstyles, and Samuel L. Jackson. As you can imagine, we've been fans of Afro Samurai since it made its American debut on SpikeTV in 2007 -- though we've been somewhat apprehensive towards the Namco brawler based on the stylish mini-series, which we got our first look at during last year's VGAs. However, the trailer posted above hits all the right notes -- amazing voice actors, attractive visuals, wicked acrobatic maneuvers, and a soundtrack by the Wu Tang Clan's RZA. With this latest trailer, and our brief time with the game at E3, we feel comfortable giving Afro Samurai the Joystiq Seal of Certified Freshness.
6,572 (8.88%)
2,437 (4.47%) 
733 (17.42%)
_thumbnail.jpg "I Am 8 Bit: 2008")
